So here we go. An online journal to figure out the confused, spiraling, floating, flying wonderful disaster that has begun to describe my life. Will anyone read this? Probably not. And that's fine by me-I think I just need a place to put my thoughts where I can see them.
Sturm und Drang : a german phrase referring to the turbulent adolescence. I'm not sure if what I am feeling is due to adolescence, I'm 20 years old. However, my entire life I have been a step behind my peers emotionally. I was the last to discover the hair straightener, the independent feeling when you incur your parent's disapproval, the satisfaction of chasing an interest, and the wonderful feeling when someone wants and you just say no.
My only hope is that I am able to truly lay it all out. Leave no details behind and write what I truly see and feel. And to the future me who I have no doubt will read this: hold your judgement. In this moment, in this mind, which you probably consider immature, these struggles are the greatest I have faced. Even the insignificant boy confusion (which I pray to God has been resolved for good) is a source of pain and excitement that I can't control. So laugh at yourself. Remember how real these now insignificant issues were. And see how far you've come.
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